I had Nasopharyngeal Carcinoma Stage 2 at the age of 17. I am writing this letter to everyone who is facing the cancer in any form.
One day, I witnessed pain in my throat, and the pain grew with time. The pain was too much to bear to the point that I was almost unconscious quite a few times.
I was sitting with my parents outside the hospital. One of the hospital workers came and told my father to see the doctor in regards to my F.N.A.C report. I was almost sure that the tumor I had was cancerous. My father came back and was almost in tears. I didn’t shed a tear.
The moment I realized I had cancer, I grew cold. My heart was filled with pain, yet I felt the presence of power and a will to live. I asked them to go back home. I was diagnosed with Stage 2 Nasopharyngeal Carcinoma when I was 17-years-old. I struggled a lot during my treatments. My personal life was already in turmoil and whatever was left was destroyed by cancer. I tried to kill myself 3 times. I failed drastically because the urge to live was way more strong than the helplessness to die.
Everyone judged me, my skin burned, and I lost weight. People were scared of me. Children couldn’t look at me, my clothes didn’t fit anymore, I was almost bald, and I smelled of medication. People exemplified me. There was so much that I faced. Words can’t express the pain and feelings. But I decided to live after all. I knew that if I got the chance to make things right again, I would do it. I decided to let go of people. I decided to commit to my dream of a happy life. I feel so much power today that can’t match the previous me.
Doctors said it’s difficult to gain weight. My family asked me to stop studying. Doctors agreed as I was having poor mental health. I went from 65kg to 48kg during my treatment. I decided to gain it back. I studied and am currently pursuing a BA in History Hons from Delhi university. I decided to decide for myself and live a life proudly.
To everyone who’s struggling or have their special ones, remember that the darkest nights bring the brightest days. Even if you are struggling a lot, remember when the struggle is over, you will be proud of yourself. Pain gives happiness meaning, struggle gives success meaning, likewise Cancer as death will one day give your life meaning. Keep up the good fight, you are warriors not just survivors. God will bless you.
Your’s truly and surviving/Warrior brother.
Alive and Happy
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